“Mostly we live in a heightened state of insatiability, wanting what we haven’t got, forgetting and discarding what we already have. Brittle, fragile relationships are normal, with each person watching their own back, rather than the face of the person they most want to love and be loved by.
Caring about people lovingly and well demands fidelity. ‘Whoever is faithful in a very little way, is faithful also in much,’ said St Luke.
To bring fidelity to life – taking on what it means to choose to be consistent, persistent, trustworthy, committed, truthful, loving, and delicate in your discernment between what matters and what does not – you need to be capable of vigilance; of staying awake to the subtlety of what happens between you and other people. This means caring about details as well as the big picture. It means learning that what may be a small thing to you may carry much greater meaning for someone else. Your own view may not change as you discover this, but it is usually possible to express your respect for a different view and to take this as an opportunity to deepen your knowledge of that person. Because fidelity also asks that you care about other people and yourself equally and simultaneously.
This is not so easy. It involves being ‘transparent’ to your own self-deceptions; taking responsibility for what your needs are; facing what is unpalatable about your intentions or behaviour. It involves developing the strength and clarity of mind to distinguish between intention and action, knowing that what you desire and how you act may sometimes need to be two quite different things.
It means acknowledging that the way you feel about someone may sometimes ask something difficult of you. It may mean, in thinking about yourself and those you love, that you must look inward sometimes, as well as outwards. It means taking stock often, and pausing.”
Wishing you health of mind, body and soul. Lots of love and light. Jacqui