Happy Father’s Day to every dad out there. Most fathers are unaware and humble about the incredible role they play in their child's life. The question is ' Do you value and take care of yourself? Personally, I often have to watch and remind my hubby about his health and wellbeing. Especially during these prolonged covid times it is important to put MEN'S physical and psychological health as a priority. Have an amazing Father’s Day.
Continuing with our series ' Healing the lament of the inner child" looking at toxic relationships. Often the inner child is dragged into drama situations and toxic relationships as they continue to be wounded in life's journey. The key is to recognise, acknowledge and let go of these relationships or they will have a negative impact on yourself and your loved ones.
Continuing our series to shine the torch on the role of mothers (parents) and 'the lament of the wounded child' to tie into the long term impacts of childhood trauma on innocent children who often continue to suffer as adults at the hands of the parent or siblings.
Scapegoating is not limited to families, but often scapegoaters in families will move this SABOTAGE behaviour into their extended family, friends, their own children's lives, the workplace, schools, institutions constantly creating drama, conflict, grief and harm.
Be safe and have an awesome week.
Omg. Love this message. Brene Brown – The Man In The Arena Speech (edited).
Cross my heart, this was a tough section to write. Often I was in tears. It is heartbreaking to see grown men in despair with deep hurt and pain in their eyes. (Its even harder holding them in a place of taking responsiblity for their choices, as most of them (not all) are unaware of the impact of their actions, due to childhood experiences.
Our boys and men are precious, they deserve to be loved and respected.
Escpecially our young boys. Being a parent myself I am fully aware how kids can test the best of us, but I still strongly believe that you should NEVER HIT A CHILD. The psychological damage is horrendous. Another area of long term damage to kids is BULLYING at school and sports. Personally as a mother, if I suspected the slightest bullying I informed the school authorities and held them responsible to solve it.
I would get this E-course raising awareness of abusive and unhealthy relationships out quicker if I stopped editing, changing things and getting light-bulb moments!
For example, during the literature review, I came across this paper where Psychiatrist Eric Burne when he looked at the Drama Triangle he wanted the Victim in the top position because he felt that Victims caused most of the drama in unhealthy/ abusive relationships (oooouch!). However, the creator Stephen Karpman refused and put the perpetrator on top, stating that there are no victims in unhealthy or abusive relationships just ' victims who felt victimised'. So hopefully this image will make sense, that perpetrators see themselves as victims and cause the drama in unhealthy and abusive relationships.
In unhealthy or abusive relationships, often the wires get crossed. One partner takes on the role of a parent towards the other partner, whilst the other partner can react like a submissive or rebellious child within the relationship.
In a healthy relationship, both partners don't have roles. Both act like responsible adults who are independent, but feel safe and confident within the relationship.
While researching ways to feel more connected in a society where 45% of people report feeling lonely, authenticity emerged as a common strategy for combating loneliness. When there’s an gap between what you’re delivering to others and how you’re actually experiencing life, loneliness and insecurity are sure to follow. Why? Well, when you’re not showing people the real you, you can’t be sure the person is choosing you.
Over a cuppa last weekend a colleague and myself discussed the growing trend of losing our boys and men to suicide and displacement, we both agreed we are going to collaborate, although neither of us know what or how at this stage. Watch this space.
In 2007 I wrote a mini thesis on “the narrative that men provide for their violence’. I clearly remember sitting with my professor stunned at ONE of the unexpected discovery that came through that small study, ever since I have been vigilant.
Let us truly rise to hearing all our voices, men’s, women’s and above all else, be aware how children witness how we behave and treat each other as adults.