Continuing our series to shine the torch on the role of mothers (parents) and 'the lament of the wounded child' to tie into the long term impacts of childhood trauma on innocent children who often continue to suffer as adults at the hands of the parent or siblings.
Scapegoating is not limited to families, but often scapegoaters in families will move this SABOTAGE behaviour into their extended family, friends, their own children's lives, the workplace, schools, institutions constantly creating drama, conflict, grief and harm.
Be safe and have an awesome week.

Today I had to go into Ballarat city to meet someone, as I waited, I decided to put the fireplace (electric log fire) on, snuggle up on my favourite chair and read Stephanie Dowrick's book " Forgiveness & other acts of love". I love her style of writing and her message of paying attention to the intention with the central theme of Self-care. So thought I would share and post self-care tips. Have an awesome weekend.

​"A mother's love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity. It dares all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path." - Agatha Christie
Unfortunately, not all mothers share the above sentiments, some mothers can cause long term damage to their children called the 'mother's wound" extending into adulthood.
Being a mother myself with 2 adult children this was a difficult piece to write, especially during these times where the role of women and mothers is centre stage with an increased awareness of what constitutes family violence and abuse and its impact especially on children.
It is imperative that as mothers we take responsibility and be accountable by taking stock of how we are mothering our children including our adult children and if we need to do any work to "heal the inner child".

Recently attended a presentation on the covid vax and after removing all the technical stuff, I have condensed it for anyone wanting to know what they can do if they wanted to have the vaccine.
My advice is whatever you choose, 'to have or not to have' the vax; embrace your choice, also if in doubt wait until you are clear about your choice. Be safe.

​Skipton farmer’s personal story to the Royal commission.  ‘The pain inside gets so great’: Farmer calls for better mental health support in rural Victoria”
Our Men and boys are precious! So are the women and girls in our lives.
It is brave men like Al who with their courage, resilience, vulnerability and strong family ties that shed light on the true experience of people with mental health.
Mental health is often not a simple, single element, it is layered with a person's personality, childhood experiences, relationships, major life events and how they see and react to those events and experiences.
When seeking help it is also important to find the right fit with your practitioner. Some practitioners don't suit all clients and some clients certainly don't suit some practitioners. You need to find your fit and shop around until you find the right person for you. Always go at your pace, what feels right for you as Al says "Mr Gabb now sees a counsellor in Ballarat, “who I speak to when I need a grease and oil change, is my phrase for it. I really got the benefits from finding the right practitioner”.
 

​When PMDD was scheduled to be classified in the DSM-V there was a lot of controversy and debate among health care professionals.
On one hand, there was the argument that it validated women's experiences. On the other, it stigmatized women's experience as a psychiatric disorder which opened the flood gates for it to be treated with drugs and surgery.
Regardless of what health care professionals think about whether it is a mental disorder or not is irrelevant. All women should be supported and it is important we don't assume it's 'just hormones' and nothing can be done about it.
If you are suffering there are options out there! Whatever you choose will be the right treatment for you.

Cross my heart, this was a tough section to write. Often I was in tears. It is heartbreaking to see grown men in despair with deep hurt and pain in their eyes. (Its even harder holding them in a place of taking responsiblity for their choices, as most of them (not all) are unaware of the impact of their actions, due to childhood experiences.
Our boys and men are precious, they deserve to be loved and respected.
Escpecially our young boys. Being a parent myself I am fully aware how kids can test the best of us, but I still strongly believe that you should NEVER HIT A CHILD. The psychological damage is horrendous. Another area of long term damage to kids is BULLYING at school and sports. Personally as a mother, if I suspected the slightest bullying I informed the school authorities and held them responsible to solve it.

I would get this E-course raising awareness of abusive and unhealthy relationships out quicker if I stopped editing, changing things and getting light-bulb moments!
For example, during the literature review, I came across this paper where Psychiatrist Eric Burne when he looked at the Drama Triangle he wanted the Victim in the top position because he felt that Victims caused most of the drama in unhealthy/ abusive relationships (oooouch!). However, the creator Stephen Karpman refused and put the perpetrator on top, stating that there are no victims in unhealthy or abusive relationships just ' victims who felt victimised'. So hopefully this image will make sense, that perpetrators see themselves as victims and cause the drama in unhealthy and abusive relationships.

In unhealthy or abusive relationships, often the wires get crossed. One partner takes on the role of a parent towards the other partner, whilst the other partner can react like a submissive or rebellious child within the relationship.
In a healthy relationship, both partners don't have roles. Both act like responsible adults who are independent, but feel safe and confident within the relationship.